@RobDenBleyker: Someone please help me with my pope resume, so far all I have is "I look fantastic in large hats."
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@LittleHarmonica: Men always say they like strong, smart women until you argue with them. And then they're all like: You talk too much....and I want my Mommy.
@jdforshort: A random guy held the door & paid for my Cinnabon roll at the truck stop today He doesn't know it, but this is the best date in a long time
@AnOrangeSNES: "Jess is coming over" "Jess who indiscriminately murders people or-" *Gets stabbed to death* "Yes"