@bobbiejo448: Someone please tell my mother she won't get a free iPod by clicking the links. She's convinced I just don't want to show her how to use it.
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@OhNoSheTwitnt: Carson: No it wasn't a friend it was a close family member. And I didn't stab her I froze her heart. "Sir, that's the plot of Frozen."
@summerofbenny: I have a huge gash in my forehead. I'm going to assume I got up in the middle of the night, fought some crime, and went back to bed.
@Jamie1947: You can call me a "simpleton" if you choose. But I ask you this. What is that. What is simpleton, is that like a good or bad thing, not sure
@zachreinert03: I hate "save the date" engagement cards. After divorce you should have to send out "hey forget about that one date 6 months ago" cards