@causticbob: Someone recently asked me, "What blood type are you?"..
I said , "The red runny type".
@SondraDeeMe: You going to eat those sausages?
The encased meats. Do you want them?
- Those are my fingers.
Oh, no thanks, I'm not there yet.
@DadandBuried: Doing LEGO with my son is like assisting during surgery.
6yo: Flat gray piece.
6: 5 square red blocks.
6: I said RED!
@RandomRamblr: Guys who resent their friends for not sharing their hair products are gel less.
@thepamilerin: My mum entered my room &found me asleep. She Walked closer, caressed my hair & slapped my face saying 'ur last seen on whatsApp was 1min ago
@Mr_Kapowski: Dogs that belong to homeless people must think "just say you're sorry dude and we can sleep inside tonight"