@unravelingfire: Someone send Kendall Jenner onto a United flight with a Pepsi, stat.
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@OrangeFact: [Date] ME: I hope you like your wine dry HER: But of cour- umm that's just a glass of raisins ME: *mouth full of raisins* it's weally dwy
@joeljeffrey: I'm not afraid of identity theft. Go ahead and enjoy being broke and having my dad call you a failure.
@JerseyRambo: You know you're watching Star Wars with Catholics when every time you hear "May the Force be with you," you hear, "And also with you."