@noogscorner: Someone should tell North Korea that if you want to nuke someone, you probably shouldn't give them a progress report every week.
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@AdamOfEarth: January 29, 1802, 2 AM: I hope this letter finds you well. Are you up? March 2: I am, good sir April 6: Would you kindly come over? May 9: K
@UnFitz: [rescued at sea] Coastguard: Where are the others? Me: Had to eat them. CG: You were out there for 4 hours. M: They really got on my nerves.
@Donna_McCoy: My husband keeps watching a tv show while complaining about how boring it is, & now I understand how he's stayed married to me for so long.