@Thing_Finder: Someone stole my identity. And then sent it back with $100 and a note that said "So sorry man. Hope things work out."
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@jwoodham: The easiest way to find out if a movie is on Netflix is to simply ask yourself "do I want to see it?" If you do, it's not on Netflix.
@GregHenchman: I wonder if Scarlett Johansson ever fantasizes about fat comic book nerds, or is that just a one-way street?
@GrantTanaka: We should probably abolish the death penalty since we don't even get to throw rotten vegetables at people anymore
@LaceyNycole: 2-year-old: *points to my belly* Baby! Me: Yep, there's a baby in there! Will you love it? 2: I eat it. Well that escalated quickly.