@SlipCarefully: Someone stole my pencil sharpener and now I can't stab people anymore.
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@Gooooats: Hurricanes should have scary names that instill a proper sense of alarm. Names like GOLTOG HARVESTER OF SOULS or Britni.
@rolldiggity: Instructions for having an adventure: 1. Stand outside restaurant. 2. Wait for someone to ask if you're the valet. 3. Say yes.
@westofsunday: Stranger:So,you're a parent? Me: Yes,proud dad of a 5yo w/ special needs S:cool, I'm sort of a parent too, 2 dogs and a cat Me:.... Nope
@ChicorelliStar: Just found out my daughter's super power is repeating what I've said about others as soon as she meets them.