@SlipCarefully: Someone stole my pencil sharpener and now I can't stab people anymore.
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@rocknthepurple: I just wish I had someone who wanted to touch me as much as my shower curtain does.
@TheSharona06: Sometimes I put my cat in the sunroom hoping the coyote who lives out back will charge at it and bounce off the glass.
@secondofhername: You don't have to write 'Twitter addict' in your bio. Your 58675687K tweets give it up by themselves.