@SlipCarefully: Someone stole my pencil sharpener and now I can't stab people anymore.
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@joeljeffrey: I texted my girlfriend "goodnight, love you" but accidentally sent it to my boss. Now Its awkward, cause he holds my hand during meetings.
@BromanConsul: the devil has a tape recorder containing the sounds you made when you sang aloud with a group but didn't actually know the words
@Chumpstring: I never claimed to have all the answers. I said two. I have two answers. There's a guy in Nebraska who has six. Go bother him.