@Freudianscript: Someone told me to settle down, & I wasn't sure if they meant for me to calm down, or buy a house & start a family.
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@TheBoydP: I was shocked as an adult to learn that the crisscross pattern made with a fork on a peanut butter cookie was not a family secret.
@phirm: Hey is it just me or is there another two-letter pronoun used to refer to oneself as the object of a verb or preposition?
@Blarebare: My wife just said that Twilight is better than The Lost Boys. I don't think there's a jury in the world that would convict me.
@iwearaonesie: [on the phone] wife: My mom tripped over the dog me: Is she ok? wife: Yeah me: Can I talk to her? wife: Sure *calls for the dog*