@Freudianscript: Someone told me to settle down, & I wasn't sure if they meant for me to calm down, or buy a house & start a family.
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@OrangeFact: ME: You coming to the party? FRIEND: Will it be rad?- M: -ish. F: I guess I'll come. [Later at the radish party] F: I think I misunderstood
@TexasHickspanic: I can only please one person a day, and i already pleased myself this morning.. so y'all are screwed!
@sixfootcandy: Sometimes, when my husband has a day off, I like to bring the TV remote with me to work.
@SonOfCha: They say if you ever get attacked by a shark you should punch it in the nose which is easy cause imagine how composed you would be.