@desusnice: someone using bare hands to put salad on a plate is letting you know they're not here for discussions about etiquette or anything really
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@jonnysun: ME: woud u be open to adoption? HUSBAND: yes [later, at the adoption agency] ME: yes hi, i'd like to put my husband up for adoption
@LurkAtHomeMom: Me: Pick that up! 7: Can't you? Me: You're lower to the ground 7: But you're used to doing things that aren't fun How's your summer going?
@iwearaonesie: [3 am] toddler *steps on my face trying to sneak into the bed* me: You are the worst ninja ever
@SteveSuckington: "There's approximately a 50% chance there will be weather today." -meteorologists