@_youhadonejob1: Someone waited thief whole life to write that headline.
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@ComedicBust: We kissed. We undressed. I felt her heart beat. I used her bathroom. I saw Colgate toothpaste. I left. We never spoke again.
@Im_Tricia: Mom: "Do you want this?" Me: "No." Mom: "Ok I'll give it to your brother." Me: "No I want it."
@iGreenMonk: I really can't believe the price some women pay for sunglasses. I'm starting to think it'd be cheaper to get the kitchen window tinted.