@ComedicBust: We kissed. We undressed. I felt her heart beat. I used her bathroom. I saw Colgate toothpaste. I left. We never spoke again.

@Im_Tricia: Mom: "Do you want this?" Me: "No." Mom: "Ok I'll give it to your brother." Me: "No I want it."

@iGreenMonk: I really can't believe the price some women pay for sunglasses. I'm starting to think it'd be cheaper to get the kitchen window tinted.

@FreshTerritory: You guys are even more beautiful now that I'm wearing my "wine glasses".

@PeachCoffin: I've said it before and I'll say it again, if you drive a Nissan but don't call it Liam then what is even the point of you