@Dschnoeb: Someone who blocked me on Twitter just added me on Instagram. If you can't love me at my bad jokes, you don't deserve me at my cat photos.
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@MrSpoonicorn: *a tree branch bursts into a bank with a gun* "THIS IS A STICK UP" *everyone laughs* "GUYS IM SERIOUS" *more laughter* "DAMN IT" *leaves*
@lilgapeach32: I could understand Eve's choice to doom all of humanity if she'd been offered nachos. But an apple? My ovaries are not amused.
@ciarasmith91: Jobs: You Need To Have Your BA *got BA Jobs: you need 5yrs experience *5years later Jobs: You need a MA *Got MA Jobs: we need some1 young