@mean_crow: "Someone's been sleeping in my bed!" said mommy bear. "Who hasn't" muttered daddy bear. "What?! You wanna do this now, in front of the kid!"
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@JohnLyonTweets: Interviewer: [looking through file] Are you still disruptive at nap time? Me: Wow, they weren't kidding about that permanent record thing.
@TragicAllyHere: My Kid: Are dinosaurs real? Me: yes but they died Kid: why did you kill them? M: I didn't! Kid: did you forget to water them like our plants
@ObscureGent: Mother in law just said global warming with air quotes. It's going to be a long night.
@IvoryGazelle: i can see why people hate change, it's heavy and jingly in your pocket, and people look at you weird when you use it to buy booze, i get it