@ibid78: "Something's wrong. He's never walked this far before."- what my shoes would say if you walked a mile in them.
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@DoucheMcBaggus: When my son gets uppity, I like to remind him that I'm totally nailing his mom.
@trevso_electric: I don't have bumper stickers because I don't believe in anything strongly enough to potentially get my car keyed.
@CourtneyBale: Guy Who Invented Figurative Speech: I've got something that'll blow your minds. Townspeople: *fleeing in abject terror*
@Cpin42: I hate when I show up to a funeral and another guy is wearing the same hot dog costume.