@duplicitron: Sometimes a family is walking towards you taking up the entire sidewalk and you have no choice but to just become part of that family.
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@batkaren: JON: What should I do with these extra mustard packs? MARY: Just stuff 'em in the Lazy Susan. SUSAN: Hey, I'm right here! (*remains seated*)
@mattingebretson: As a kid on summer nights I'd capture fireflies in a jar then show them to my father and say "please buy me a sega this does nothing for me"
@Dirty_Naomi: I've decided to retire on Monday & live off my savings. Don't know what I will do on Tuesday though?
@TheAlexNevil: 7: Where are you and Mom going tonight? Me: To meet with your teacher. 7: Oh, you don't need to. I already saw her today.