@SortaBad: Sometimes at the airport I'll ask a stranger if they have an iphone charger and if they do I take mine out and say "nice, me too"
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@milehighocd: Don't take a shower when you're drunk. The curtain does not support you when you fall. Trust me.
@MouVanLee: Reasons why i never let my girlfriend touch my iPhone. 1) I don't have iPhone. 2) I don't have a girlfriend.
@ThRealBallsDeep: Is a guy eating peach halves the equivalent of a chick eating a banana? Asking for a friend... ...but hurry up, I'm almost to the checker
@rickkondell: That moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, hit a lamp, and kill your dog.