@ceejoyner: Sometimes at the beach it's like "gross, is that a condom?" Yes. And it's staying on. Not looking to raise any shark children.
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@ChrisScarlette: "just great, I've lost my house my wife is leaving and my kids hate me how can this day get any worse" -A dinosaur, 66 million years ago
@briangaar: Mitt Romney has decided not to run for president. In other news, I have decided not to become a billionaire or play in the NBA.
@Jay_FrickinLynn: Asked my son what he wanted for dinner. He said cheese. A good mom doesn't let her kid eat cheese for dinner. This cheese is delicious.