@kelkulus: Sometimes at the gym I'll struggle and make all kinds of awkward grunting sounds, but eventually I'll get my shorts on.
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@iwearaonesie: *helps wife get toddler in his high chair* wife: That's a new shirt, let's put a bib on you me [wearing a bib] This is ridiculous
@OhNoSheTwitnt: The only time a man has ever asked me "do you have a sister?" was just to make sure he avoided dating her too.
@TheBoydP: My walk of shame is leaving a handicapped restroom stall while trying not to make eye contact with the wheelchair guy who was waiting on me.