@CharlieDontSrf: Sometimes, distance maketh the heart less likely to be stabbed
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@joejwest: [knocking at the door] VOICE OUTSIDE: Open up this is the fashion police! ME: [furiously flushing bandanas down the toilet] JUST A SECOND
@Vice_Queen: I accidentally just sent a kissy face emoji to my female boss... and now we wait for the call from HR on Monday.
@DeadLioness: What we all have in common is how extra stupid we look when we stop everything and focus on removing a stray hair from our tongue.