@fraservalleyjay: Sometimes for fun I like to pick up hitchhikers. When they open the door I say "Hey! Sorry I'm late."
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@hazelmotes1: My coworker left my office an hour ago, but the smell of his cologne remains, like some kind of douchbag ghost.
@JasonLastname: Who'd win if Batman fought Santa? Before u say Batman, just remember who's watching you answer.
@KalvinMacleod: Baby sharks can hunt for food as soon as they are born and my children cannot find their underwear drawer.
@recoveringbapti: I would like to see more realistic math problems in schools cause there ain't no way some kid has 75 melons without stealing a produce truck