@fraservalleyjay: Sometimes for fun I like to pick up hitchhikers. When they open the door I say "Hey! Sorry I'm late."
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@jwoodham: It's almost Christmas, which means it's almost time to hear my parents' new excuses for why Jennifer Lawrence isn't under the tree again.
@Brianhopecomedy: Forgot my wallet at home & filled up at the gas station so I have to leave some collateral. Not leaving my phone there so 4 year old it is.
@Goldishocks: Falling in love is like diving into a tin of marshmallows, then hitting your head on the bottom.
@Donna_McCoy: Omg what a weekend - I don't need to eat again for the rest of this year. Is that cheesecake?