@audipenny: Sometimes I accidentally make eye contact with someone and it's like "well I better just go with it" and I begin sprinting at them
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@gingerfaced: I wish snacks could talk so they could verify my whereabouts from 1 am to 3 am this morning.
@Quartzjixler: I think the inventor of the internet likely didn't intend for it to be used to post videos of simians reacting to humans doing magic tricks.
@senderblock23: BAE: come over ME: we live together im sitting right here BAE: my parents arent home ME: what is wrong with you
@Reverend_Scott: October 31st, 2187: Sugar is now illegal. Parents search their kid's Halloween bags to make sure the razor blades don't have candy in them.