@jordan_stratton: Sometimes I break into hives. But only because I hate bees.
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@clindsaysway: Just finished reading the Declaration of Independence to my kids, and they went to live with their dad
@KalvinMacleod: My wife asked me what new hairstyle she should get, so I held my breath until I passed out.
@carlyken: Kids, in my day we didn't have text messaging. We had to write a "Do you like me: Yes or no?" note and pass it through 17 mutual friends.
@WickedDarkEyes: I hate it when I mean to buy seedless grapes but instead I accidentally get...well you know... Oreos.