@Gooooats: Sometimes I correctly spell a word I expected to spell incorrectly and then I type some gibberish to make sure spellcheck is still working.
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@Christweetpher_: [jail] INMATE: so what are ya in for? BIG BAD WOLF: well I huffed and I puffed and then I got nabbed for possession INMATE: goddam pigs
@kimlockhartga: Dolly Madison should make snack cakes for diet "cheat days" and call them Ashley Madisons.
@WritePlay: *robbing a bank with a chainsaw* Me: GIVE ME ALL Y- Teller: WHAT M: GIVE ME THE MONEY T: SIR YOU CAN'T HAVE THAT IN HERE M: WHAT
@realHamOnWry: 73% of being white is looking like every limb hears a different beat when you're dancing.