@MakesYouGiggle: Sometimes I dance on my bed half naked & sing into my hairbrush.... and other days... I take my medication.
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@DebasaurusRex: Autocorrect, no matter how many times I tell you, I don't want anyone's duck in my can't.
@TheAlexNevil: I don't trust a restaurant that advertises "Now with more bacon!" because it means they were holding out on me to begin with.
@VodkaShorebird: "You know what people really want to see? Season after season of a guy drinking his own piss." - Discovery Channel executive
@ericsshadow: Trump's rhetoric has become even more disturbing and incendiary. Today he claimed "Burger King fries are as good as McDonald's fries."