@MakesYouGiggle: Sometimes I dance on my bed half naked & sing into my hairbrush.... and other days... I take my medication.
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@offbeatoliv: When skiing it's always good to keep a photo i.d. on you in case they need to identify the body.
@mynameisntdave: GUY: I heard a pianist keyed ur car. What are u gonna do? [flash forward to me hitting the pianist's piano with my car] ME: car his keys.
@MrT1M: Most computer problems stem from the lack of a fatherboard. No? Ok, I'll show myself out.