@Soberphobiccc: Sometimes I drink water to surprise my liver.
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@TheToddWilliams: [Eating ribs at BBQ Joint] "Would you like a Wet-Nap?" No thanks, I had one this afternoon.
@deathoftheparty: lookin for a quick and easy way to beef up that scrawny bod and really turn some heads at the beach? float dead in a lake
@Black__Elvis: Damn, baby got back. And front. And sides. Baby three-dimensional. This is a real baby.
@squirrel74wkgn: [at Doctor's office] "When's the last time you had sex?" Last night. "With a male or female?" Oh...with another person?