@ilovepie84: Sometimes I drown cookies in milk in front of their family until they tell me the whereabouts of the Keebler Elves.
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@edanto_: Your girlfriend is so good in bed but can't do house chores. When your relatives complain you be like "You guys don't know her very well"
@professorxavi: *Cute girls approaches* "You keep glancing over here, so I thought I'd come make the first move" *Panics* *Starts making car alarm sounds*