@meganamram: Sometimes I feel like a woman trapped in a pear-shaped woman's body
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@joe_binkley: Me: How do Minions wear overalls? They don't even have shoulders Therapist: I meant is there anything else bothering you about your marriage
@Beer4AGoodTime: Getting married is easy, staying married is hard. Just ask my girlfriend, her husband drives her crazy.
@Mr_Kapowski: *scientist finishes bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal and begins drinking the milk* "Wait just one damn minute" - How horchata was born