@meganamram: "Sometimes I feel like a woman trapped in a woman's body" - Russian nesting doll
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@shariv67: Parents tell you their baby's weight because they have no other information. They can't say "Meet Jim, a free spirit who's into yodeling."
@JediGigi: *eats pizza out of box in bed *falls asleep *wakes up next to leftover pizza Voila! Breakfast in bed!
@ninatreemonkey: If I had two bathrooms I'd tell everyone someone died in one, I ain't tryna clean two bathrooms
@stephenjmolloy: "Nutella causes cancer" says one scientist with his mouth covered in chocolate. "Send your jars to me and I will dispose of them."