@sammyrhodes: Sometimes I feel like Valentine's Day was invented by a guy who had way too many chocolate covered strawberries.
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@slackerjorge: In store checkout behind beautiful woman in sleek black dress. She's buying tequila and a quart of motor oil. Sure like to know that story
@jonnysun: humans: wat did we ever do to deserve dogs dogs: wat horible sins were done to our ancestors for us to be subservient to the humabns