@SteveDutzy: Sometimes I find myself feeling hopeful for the future of the human race but then I remember there are grown men who like My Little Pony.
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@Tmoney68: My GF called me "behind the times" today. I got so upset, I paused the VCR, paged my friends & asked them to fax me their best advice.
@TheDairylandDon: Why hunt for vampires when you can just open a tuxedo shop and have them come to you? Work smarter, not harder.
@SortaBadass: Naming your daughter after a luxury car or precious gemstone is a wager with the universe that your parenting can make her not be a stripper