@yonewt: Sometimes I get flustered by waitresses and I say things like "Abso-fruit-ly!" and they laugh like I'm so clever but we both know
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Swishergirl24: I like to drink while I clean and that's how I found out what Febreze tastes like.
@Schmoodles: Someone at work asked if I'd listened to any good books lately, and now I've got a body to dispose of. :(
@Amazon_Blonde: No beer or Snacks?!? WORST. PARTY. EVER. Family: uh...this is an Intervention Me: LAME, look, Grandmas so bored she's crying