@sammyrhodes: Sometimes I get mad about having to unload the dishwasher but then I remember a machine just washed my dishes for me.
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@SmartassChef: If drinking too much alcohol makes you an alcoholic, does drinking too much Fanta make you fantastic?
@Taryn_: That awkward moment when someone is cooking fish in the office and all the girls begin sniffing themselves.
@Tmoney68: [Sloth Job Interview] Sloth Boss: How would you describe yourself? *2 hours later* Sloth Interviewee: Quick-thinking.
@SteveKoehler22: I went to school with a girl named Nonstick CookingSpray We tried calling her Pam ... but it didn’t stick.