@farleftcoast: Sometimes I get really stoned and stare at phone and wonder why I pay so much money for a government tracking device.
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@JustinGuarini: The best part about Facebook is never having to wonder what your acquaintance's baby is doing all day everyday day.
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: Eat your vegetables. They make you smarter. 3-year-old: *hands me a carrot* You need this more than I do.
@PanicRestroom: I wonder if the username "That Cab" is free, cause a lot of people would want to follow "That Cab"