@DaddyJew: Sometimes I get road rage waiting for my son to finish his story.
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@DecantAndPour: I always keep an empty milk bottle in the fridge just in case anyone wants a black coffee.
@dhumann: Psychiatrist: "Your check bounced and was returned for insufficient funds." Me: "So how does that make you feel?"
@WildeThingy: "I loves hows you've done me spinach Doc!" Popeye tells his host. Hannibal winks. "The secret is to add a bit of Olive Oil."
@Marcmywords2: Sometimes I'll purposely spill gravy on my pants to give me an excuse to leave early. The real trick is sneaking the gravy into church.