@nerdamage: Sometimes I get so wrapped up in my own problems that I forget there are people having real fights on the internet.
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@awesomeseank: Evidently, trying to schedule parent/teacher conference over drinks and "we'll see what happens" is considered inappropriate.
@Dawn_M_: I don't know why a dingo would steal a baby when you can steal cool stuff like rollerblades.
@Fred_Delicious: When my doctor diagnosed me with squid magnet syndrome I had a lot of questi... [a squid hits me in the face at 900mph killing me instantly]
@bridger_w: When I die, instead of being cremated or buried, I'd like my body to be thrown out of a tree onto a group of teens