@KKAlThani: Sometimes I get take out sushi and eat it at an aquarium just to remind the fish who's boss.
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@TheGrimKing: Starting my diet and training tomorrow; hope I can count on your support and prayers that I die in my sleep. Please RT.
@WritePlay: ME: So are you gonna put it in me or what NURSE: Sir it's a blood draw please stop saying that
@Gooooats: Instead of donating my body to science, I'll donate it to whoever has the best idea for a practical joke involving a dead body.
@XplodingUnicorn: Wife: You put the wrong date on this. Me: Oh, yeah. The year change always messes me up. Wife: You wrote 1992.