@KKAlThani: Sometimes I get take out sushi and eat it at an aquarium just to remind the fish who's boss.
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@VestaTot: My coworker just took a broom and pole vaulted over the cubicle partition to confront the woman who accused her of being on speed.
@ThoughtOtter: [blind date] OK don't let her know you're a remote control "Your eyes are beau- *sinks into seat crevice, lost for weeks* DAMMIT NOT AGAIN
@ReneeHooray: Playboy's decision to keep models clothed comes weeks after McDonald's decision to serve breakfast all day.