@abhorrent_wife: Sometimes I have my shit together, sometimes I eat an unidentified white substance out of my hair and am grateful when it's frosting.
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@InternetHippo: Health care reform is a tough sell politically. How do you campaign against health insurance companies, whom everyone loves
@murrman5: [park bench with girlfriend] so you're dumping me because you don't think I'm smart? "yes brent" *starts raining* great and now sky water
@kyry5: I never got why people liked sitting home without pants so much until I was without a job for a week. Now I don't get why people have jobs.