@Sheila_Mac420: Sometimes, I just want to be taken seriously. And sometimes, I just want to be taken, seriously.
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@rolldiggity: 1. Tattoo "I'M WATCHING YOU" on your shaved head. 2. Grow hair and wait for daughter's boyfriend to come over. 3. Shave head in front of him
@One2thTEXAN: My signature move, is pulling on a push only door, when attempting to get it for a woman.
@CommonSavant: Mom: Why can't you be successful like your brother? Amazon: heh Optimus: But I saved humanity from Decepticons! Thanksgiving at the Primes
@MartaEffing: I joked at school drop off that the white stuff on my kid was powdered sugar, not cocaine, but I took it too far by rubbing some on my gums.