@Avepates: Sometimes I like to hysterically tell mall security that my infant son has gone missing just so I can show people baby pictures of myself.
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@KalvinMacleod: Wile E Coyote: I can't get rid of this headache *TNT explodes* *anvil drops on his head* *bus flattens him* Dr: it's probably stress-related
@LeonEarlgrey: Haloween is over, but i just saw a group of people dressed up as the ghosts of the Cone Heads.
@Barack_and_Joe: Obama: any good ideas in how to defeat isis? *Biden raises hand* Obama: besides assembling the Avengers? *Biden lowers hand*
@GinAndJif: Him: I'm really into clean eating. Me: [trying to impress] I almost never eat food I've dropped on the floor.