@jmhuntsinger: Sometimes I like to lie on the kitchen floor and pretend I'm a crumb.
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@cray_at_home_ma: Triscuits are a good snack if you've already eaten all the other snacks in your house and the boxes they came in and your own hands
@envydatropic: I just want to be rich enough to donate enough money to have a wing at the mental hospital named after me
@LuckoftheDraw86: "Guess what!" "What?" "I went clubbing and did the Bus Driver last night!" "Oh I love that dance move!" "It's a dance move?"
@kcmoore51: 11: You know what would be really ironic? Me: No, what? 11: If someone died in their...living room. The Twitter is strong in this one.