@Sarcasticsapien: Sometimes I like to play God and just ignore everyone when they talk to me.
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@milehighocd: Don't take a shower when you're drunk. The curtain does not support you when you fall. Trust me.
@Cheeseboy22: If I was speaking a foreign language on Game of Thrones, I'd throw a couple of "yabba dabba do's" in there to see if anyone notices.
@shamans_heal: The doctor wants me to start eating healthier to add years to my life. It's like he doesn't realize I'm married.