@peteholmes: Sometimes I like to pretend an ! is just a ? squeezing through a tight space.
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@myonlymizztake: Got a hot new neighbor, I finally have something to look at with my night vision goggles besides raccoons.
@hippieswordfish: [police chase] FRIEND: ditch the stolen stuff ME: are u sure F: just do it M: *throws out stolen anchor and car comes to a screeching halt*
@PaulFrei: Don't know what this myth is about cell usage blowing up a gas pump. I'm filling my tank right now. See? It's no big de