@LoneWolfStories: Sometimes I like to surprise my neighbours by smiling and waving back at them.
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@david8hughes: Wife: whats that? Son: I painted a picture of a cat Wife: it's very good Me: if it was very good you wouldn't have needed to ask what it was
@kyle_thatisall: IRONMAN 3 SPOILER ALERT: Tony's all "pffsh whatever I'm Ironman" then he's all "JARVIS HELP" then he's sad but then it's like whaaaaat.
@pertyy_: If you don't want to play with me I'll just play with myself! - Overheard in 2nd grade today... Me too kid, me too.
@squirrel74wkgn: [on a date] Her: *sneezes* Me: God- Her: *sneezes* Thank you Me: -dammit, what's taking the food so long?