@TheAlexNevil: Sometimes I make myself feel important by thinking in a British accent.
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@tuckerflodman: Dessert police! Open up! *breaks down door* Freeze! Cake it easy man, I'm Pudding you in Custardy! "Ugh, well isn't this just Flantastic."
@briangaar: At this point, I'm pretty sure the main reason Donald Trump ran for president was to get more Twitter followers
@NicCageMatch: Just heard a guy at the dog park tell his dog "NO!" and then more quietly, "We talked about this!"