@mydanimarie: Sometimes I order Domino's but give them Pizza Hut's address. And when they show up and start fighting, just wait with my mouth open.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@better_off_dad: '....annnnnnd now you have TWO hours before you have to get up.' ~The monster under my bed
@northcoastkevin: [gets pulled over by the cops] Cop: sir, you need to have 2 or more people in your vehicle to drive the HOV lane. Me: check the trunk.
@Cryptoterra: NOBODY MOVE THIS IS A ROBBERY! *other robber looks over at me* dude no you can move. We talked about this. Get the money
@Alex_N_Chains: Truthful Tuesday: The last time I had sex, I was so excited afterward I fired my musket skyward, alerting the Confederates to our presence.