@Underchilde: Sometimes I put a “for sale” sign in my neighbor’s yard and pray the power of suggestion works.
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@TheMichaelRock: It's difficult to be romantic when your dog always eats the trail of McNuggets leading to the bedroom.
@RealSugarFree: Does the 5 second rule count for a baby? Asking for... Nevermind, her mom picked her up.
@ToxicProbably: A guy on a scooter just yelled at me for being on my phone at a red light so I yelled at him for being on a scooter