@jonmsutton: Sometimes I regret teaching my children an evidence-based approach to life #FathersDay
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@HomeProbably: Relationship status: My neighbour/girlfriend was kidnapped but she's ok now, I was caught.
@Andee_Stewart: My teenaged daughter just asked me how to spell U2. Fingers crossed for that athletic scholarship.
@AnOrangeSNES: *Walking with wife listening to Dust In The Wind* Me: This is our song. *A dude walks by listening to it* Me: That's OUR song! GIVE IT BACK!