Sometimes I sit on my hand till it's numb so it feels like someone else is googling my name

@JJSummertime: Humans: That made me puke. I'll never do that again! Dogs: That made me puke. I'm gonna get into it everyday this week!!

1

@robdelaney: Trump University is getting a bad rap. My nephew went there and he can poop in a toilet AND say the N-word.

177

@stpeteyontweety: Well played C-SPAN. Well played indeed. #Zuckerberg

1

@Thynebear: *goes to watch youtube vid* BUFFER well okay *lifts weights* *checks again* BUFFER *does steroids* BUFFER "WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME"

682

@gibbet: As I stood there looking at my naked body in the mirror, I thought to myself ............I'm gonna get thrown out of ikea in a minute..

1

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