@jilleb163: Sometimes I think I should introduce myself to my neighbors just so they don't describe me to the police as "Quiet and keeps to herself."
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@Julie_Cooker: Guys who go see 50 Shades of Grey... Do you all remain seated an extra 30 min after the movie's done? 💪
@TaylorComedy: It's so annoying when you're trying to poison someone but they're just not thirsty :(
@Marlebean: Kid: ... Me: ... Kid: ... Me: ... Kid: ... Me: ... Kid: I just wanted to see you. [4:07 am]
@simoncholland: Hope my marriage can make it through another season of disagreement over the pronunciation of pecan.