@dumbbeezie: Sometimes I think I want to have a baby but then I wake up the next morning still holding my beer and I think maybe not
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@DadandBuried: I'm more comfortable hearing my five-year-old repeat swear words in public than I am hearing him say "uh-oh!" from another room.
@ThisOneSayz: Me to Hitman: in the bedroom. He is big. Hitman*pulls gun & enters* where is he? Me: on the wall! Hitman: that's a spider Me: kill it!
@AlexvanBeek: Played Monopoly with a kid & argued that I CAN buy the jail.. Teaching him a valuable lesson about the privitisation of the prison system.