@Scdavis24: Sometimes I think I'm a relatively smart person. Other times I put my shoes on before my pants and realize who I really am.
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@SwedishCanary: I had a call from a charity asking me to donate old clothes for starving people. I told them anybody who fits into my clothes isn't starving
@electrolemon: To some, it's known as "soda." Some call it "pop." Some even order it as "coke" or "cola." The spicy bubble brown juice goes by many names
@Iwriteforcats: You get a fish bite! You get a fish bite! You get a fish bite! You're all getting fish bites! - OPiranha
@jergarl: [At gang interview] GangLeader: You wanna be in our gang Me: Yep GL: What qualities do you.. M: *Already snapping fingers GL: You're in