@Scdavis24: Sometimes I think I'm a relatively smart person. Other times I put my shoes on before my pants and realize who I really am.
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@ChrisHallbeck: An audiobook that is 8 hours of breathing and page turning with a surprised “Oh, out loud?” right at the end.
@dafloydsta: WIFE: You promised you'd take the dog out. ME: Okay, fine. [later] DOG: This is a really nice place. ME: *looking up from menu* What are you gonna have?